If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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