Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
