The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
