then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
