Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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