Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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