I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
