i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
