Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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