Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You are a genius and a whore.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
