benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
