I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
