Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
oh god the rape fog is back!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
