I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
