Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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