I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
