Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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