The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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