We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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