well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize