So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
