So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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