I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
