I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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