Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
