That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
