Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
