He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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