We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
