How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
