Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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