No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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