this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i now understand why vodka
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
