Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There r osticjed everywhere
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
