i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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