I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.