If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
