i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.