So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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