I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.