Wipe that smile off your face.
birth control should be required to get into college
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS