So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss