The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.