all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
