We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?