I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.