i permit you to call me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat