every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple