In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
