I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
try to milk me bitch
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