GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
