i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
