but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
