oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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