I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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