are you so shy because you have an std?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
