I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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