Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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