I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
