A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
