I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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