so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
