I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
