what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so let's talk penis.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
