Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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