Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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