She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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