I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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