She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
