we have officially lost it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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