How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize