I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
