How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
